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Oklahoma now requires that teachers incorporate the Bible and the Ten Commandments in their curriculum, effective immediately,
Oh no. You don't want to do that.
Starting with Genesis we have not one... but two versions of creation. They're different. They're both correct since they're both in the Bible... right?
Moving on to the Flood where God kills everyone but Noah and his family. God kills everyone: the men, the women, the children, the unborn bay-bees, the sheep, the dogs - so God is a mass murderer - of children and unborn bay-bees.
We'll skip over the part where Sarah hides the 'idols' by sitting on the box she's hidden on them when she's having her 'unclean' time.
And why is Sarah marrying all those foreign kings who then shower Abraham with money when they find out he's her husband? Sounds kind of pagan to me!
Funny about Abraham the All-Father. He has lots of kids after Sarah dies but they're only mentioned once. The Bible only follows the children of Sarah. Sounds Matriarchal to me!
Don't get me started on the Ten Commandments because there's lot of commandments afterward. That delicious bacon cheeseburger? Forbidden! Two ways! It says so in the Bible!
Okay - just one commandment: "I am the Lord they God they shall not have strange gods before me." GOD ADMITS THERE ARE OTHER GODS! Anyways, these commandments where given to the Jews. I'm not a Jew. Not my god.
The book of Numbers is a lot of fun. Basically their god gives the Jews full permission to slaughter their neighbors but take the virgin girls as 'wives'. Yeah, the 'virgin' sheep, goats and cattle too. (Not as wives - get your mind out of the barnyard.) Burn their cities but keep the gold and silver.
Wasn't there something about not killing and not coveting a few pages back?
Oh wait... god gave that land to them, but didn't clear out the inhabitants? Isn't he... you know... GOD? All powerful? He could have wiped out the inhabitants with a thought or just changed their minds and have them just walk away. I guess he needed someone else to do the dirty work. Or maybe he wasn't all powerful?
King David sang and danced before the Arc of the Covenant in praise of god. David had a boyfriend. Sounds pretty Gay to me!
How many wives did those kings have? And pagan ones at that! And 'concubines'? You know... royal whores?
It's in the Bible!
Oh no. You don't want to do that.
Starting with Genesis we have not one... but two versions of creation. They're different. They're both correct since they're both in the Bible... right?
Moving on to the Flood where God kills everyone but Noah and his family. God kills everyone: the men, the women, the children, the unborn bay-bees, the sheep, the dogs - so God is a mass murderer - of children and unborn bay-bees.
We'll skip over the part where Sarah hides the 'idols' by sitting on the box she's hidden on them when she's having her 'unclean' time.
And why is Sarah marrying all those foreign kings who then shower Abraham with money when they find out he's her husband? Sounds kind of pagan to me!
Funny about Abraham the All-Father. He has lots of kids after Sarah dies but they're only mentioned once. The Bible only follows the children of Sarah. Sounds Matriarchal to me!
Don't get me started on the Ten Commandments because there's lot of commandments afterward. That delicious bacon cheeseburger? Forbidden! Two ways! It says so in the Bible!
Okay - just one commandment: "I am the Lord they God they shall not have strange gods before me." GOD ADMITS THERE ARE OTHER GODS! Anyways, these commandments where given to the Jews. I'm not a Jew. Not my god.
The book of Numbers is a lot of fun. Basically their god gives the Jews full permission to slaughter their neighbors but take the virgin girls as 'wives'. Yeah, the 'virgin' sheep, goats and cattle too. (Not as wives - get your mind out of the barnyard.) Burn their cities but keep the gold and silver.
Wasn't there something about not killing and not coveting a few pages back?
Oh wait... god gave that land to them, but didn't clear out the inhabitants? Isn't he... you know... GOD? All powerful? He could have wiped out the inhabitants with a thought or just changed their minds and have them just walk away. I guess he needed someone else to do the dirty work. Or maybe he wasn't all powerful?
King David sang and danced before the Arc of the Covenant in praise of god. David had a boyfriend. Sounds pretty Gay to me!
How many wives did those kings have? And pagan ones at that! And 'concubines'? You know... royal whores?
It's in the Bible!
