A translation for the CDC?

To the workers at the Center of Disease Control,

It has come to our attention that certain words are triggering to members of Congress. Since we want to keep Congress a Safe Place the following words are to be forbidden:

“vulnerable” - we can't talk about things that aren't Great. Only Great things are to be talked about. Like Amerika.

“entitlement” - this is just another word for 'hand outs' to the lazy, filthy layabouts who won't work for a living - like babies. If they want their milk their going to have to pull up their diapers and get a job!

“diversity” - having more than one thing is confusing. Monopolies are good especially when the right people run them. Yes, the Right People. White and Male People. Rich White Male People.

“transgender” - no icky-ness! God - our God of course - made people Male and Female - and that's it! Oh don't tell me what your multiple studies tell you about the health of these... people... and how acceptance and guided transitioning is good for them... who cares?! Men are Men. Woman are Women. Men to the Boardroom and women to the kitchen. Now go make me a sandwich, honey while I check my Grindr account and post a few new dick pictures.

“fetus” - more icky-ness! No more icky-ness! They're baaaaaybbbbeeeees! Cute, adorable, lovable baaaybeees. Until they shit their pants. Then they get handed off to the nearest female. Why do the sluts have to keep having them?

“evidence-based” - who needs evidence? I know what's right for me and for you! Now shut up with your facts and figures and kneel before god... and me. And while you're on your knees....

"science-based” - eggheads! Elite eggheads! All that sciencey shit gets in the way of making money! Anyways, I've got a PhD myself.... in Horribleness.

What the CDC needs is less science and more political correctness! This list will be a big help in protecting the delicate feelings of all us hard working politicians.

Truly,

Senator Snowflake and Representative Thin-Skinned