malada

I was planning on a 4th of July holiday as a quiet day to get stuff done around the house, when younger brother calls me around 1:30 PM to invite me... belatedly... to his cook out. I'd just eaten lunch.

He apologized but I was a little miffed. However, my brothers and I are getting to that age when we only see people at funerals... so a chance to see my closest relatives while they are still breathing was one I couldn't turn down.

After a 45 minute drive - he truly lives out in the sticks - I arrived. I wasn't that hungry but how could I turn down chicken speidies, creamy coleslaw, and bean and bacon stuff? Most of the people there were my brother's friends so I really didn't know anyone. My family: older brother, younger brother, both wives and nephew greeted me warmly and I sat, ate and listened a lot.

They're all gun nuts. I'm not.

They like to drink. I don't drink. I miss the rare beer but it's just not good for me.

They're Republican and Libertarian. I'm a Democrat.

Yeah, a little uncomfortable. However, no politics or philosophy were discussed. They know better than to get into religious/philosophic arguments with me. I'll *bruise* them - and I'll *like* it - and they *know* it. Still, a little uncomfortable at times. But I smiled and drank root beer.

Eh, family. What can you do?

I had a fairly long phone call with my older brother. We were fairly close growing up but we've grown up and grown apart... but always loved and cared for each other because, you know... family.

Towards the end of the call we were both complaining how our work sucks and I related how with all the hearings and the breaking news about Roe... I had to keep redoing broadcast logs. He told me that he thought the hearings were a 'kangaroo court' and he gets his news from Fox. I told him Fox news has been lying to everyone since the Iraqi war and they couldn't be trusted with the truth. He chuckled and responded with some 'both sides do it' nonsense.

And I.... exploded.

I yelled over the phone that I had a firm grasp of reality and people who listen to Fox news were being deluded. I screamed goodbye and hung up the phone. I really shouldn't have done that. I should have explained to him that it's not just Fox and the other 'conservative' news outlets lying about the Jan 6 hearings... no, it's their denigration of transkids, transpeople and their families.

For me... it's personal.

Although I transitioned in my early thirties I was a transkid. The 'conservative' media is lying about who I am and what I am. Freedom to live my life as I see fit? NO! They want to erase me and hurt me and ultimately kill me.

So yeah. It's personal.

I don't know what to do about the situation between my brother and I. At least, not right now. I know him - he's a good soul deep down but I'm not sure how to reach him.

I need to think about this.

-m